Its been a while since I’ve posted. I apologize. This hasn’t been due to lack of want, or lack of inspiration, nor anything like that. It really boils down to three different obstacles that have all converged together at once.
I learned that I have severe ADHD, as many of you know. I’ve been fairly vocal. It has explained a lot of what my struggles have been over the last 5+ years. I’ve felt like everything I do requires momentous effort. Even tasks as mundane as eating breakfast required a certain level of mental gymnastics, and I spent much of my day dopamine seeking, from alcohol abuse to overeating, there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to get that sweet, sweet, dopamine spike.
I got diagnosed through the VA. It took the psychiatrist 20 minutes of conversation before he was convinced. “Yeah. You definitely have almost every major symptom. How long has this gone untreated?”
I told him I didn’t know. I let him know the struggles I’ve had for the last 5-10 years, but that I couldn’t pinpoint a precise time. I didn’t struggle like this as a kid, I do know that. and I let him know. Walked out with a prescription for Adderall.
The prescription has been a Godsend. I wake up, I don’t drink coffee. I am able to set lists and perform tasks. Things take way less time than they used to because I’m not constantly distracted or engaged in mental battles. It has, however, caused me to get a disruption in my routine, coupled with changing schedules from being sick and kids back to school, and its been tough to establish a good pattern. We’re getting there, though. And as I progress and set more goals and create projects I’m getting much better at setting times and getting my routines back on track.
I, unfortunately, have also decided to download Starfield. I don’t typically play video games, I generally don’t have the time and my ADHD prevented me from having any kind of interest in them for more than 15 minutes or so. Whelp. Turns out fixing my attention issues coupled with “Fallout, but in space”, was a bad combination. Fallout is one of my favorite games ever, and it was always one of the few that I could tolerate for prolonged periods. Turns out Starfield is too. Piss. I have decided to take a break, and set limits on when I can play, as it was starting to cut into a lot of my project and work time. Sometimes you need that, but you also need to know when to stop.
But with those major obstacles in check, I look forward to starting back up and delivering quality work to all of you. I’m world-building and expanding, and trying to create stories that engage and delight. I’m working hard on Outlanders, and considering how to build up the rest of the “world”, so to speak. There is more than just life on Mars. and considering this has caused me to question what it would be like.
I also have begun working on Stop Motion projects with my kids. They’re fun. If you are interested you can see some here, as well as some things I’ve said about my experience with the VA and life in general.
Overall I look forward to getting back into the swing of it, and I appreciate everyone coming along for the journey.